RnB singer Kehlani discusses staying true to herself, dealing with mental health publicly and being a little sweet, a little sexy and a little savage.
Kehlani’s record label warned me she was a little media shy, so I was surprised when she threw her arms around me when we met. Instead, as evident in the video above, she was friendly and generous – and she knows exactly who she is and what she stands for.
But it would be understandable for the RnB singer to be a little cagey with her answers. A suicide attempt two years ago saw her love-life and mental health heavily scrutinised by gossip sites and social media commentators.
Talking about it still stings – her management team were keen to make sure my questions stuck to music – but she has harnessed what she learnt from the experience and passes that wisdom on to her fans through her Instagram and recently re-activated Twitter account.
“Once I realised life is way too short and that as long as you can make a positive influence in one person’s life, it doesn’t matter how many people have anything negative to say. As long as one person gets up and tells me, you’re making a positive difference and you’re changing my life in a good way,” she says.
“Sometimes people just have an opinion and let it go and they’re not sitting there plotting every day about how much they hate you or dislike you. It’s just something they let off into the world and let pass. So once I fully accepted that, I’m just solely focused on who loves me and that’s it.”
It’s a sentiment she makes heard at her live shows too. In Auckland opening for Halsey she asked the audience if anyone present belonged to the LGBTQI+ community.
A loud cheer went up and she responded, “Any time someone asks you what you’re about, you have to be that loud, that proud, and that strong,” before jumping into her song 'Honey', which is understood to be about an ex-girlfriend.
A few days before our interview, I watched – through the magic of live streaming, Kehlani perform at Coachella with American rapper Cardi B. Dressed in sequinned gold Kappa trackpants, Kehlani looked at ease on the main stage, her voice strong and clear throughout their song ‘Ring’.
Watching from my lounge, it was hard to believe her debut album SWEETSEXYSAVAGE only came out in January last year. But the Oakland, California-native actually got her start nearly ten years earlier when she auditioned for a travelling covers band made up of a some male classmates.
Produced by one of the members of 90s RnB group Tony! Toni! Toné!, his connections helped the band land some air time on America’s Got Talent.
Their talent, energy and Kehlani's voice got the band to fourth place in the competition. It was a trial-by-fire introduction to the music industry, Kehlani says.
“We were showing up on set every single day in hair and make up by a certain time, doing camera blocking, meeting with executives, meeting with all of these different people and really facing fears.
“Dealing with criticism was a big part of [the show], because we had judges every single day telling us at 16-years-old if we sounded good or not or if we looked good and what we needed to work on.
“That was a big hump to have to get over, but once we really understood that and learnt to take everything constructively it was like we were anxious for what the judges were going to say so that we could grow.”
Photo: RNZ
After the competition, Kehlani parted ways with her band due to a contractual dispute. It was AGT host Nick Cannon who encouraged her to come back to Los Angeles, offering her a place to stay while she found her feet.
“It was scary because I was so used to having five boys with me at all times as my band, as my brothers who I was travelling with and in the studio with and working with at all times and walking into places by myself… it was like, ‘woah, I don’t really know how to do this’.”
Writing her own music for the first time after years in a covers band, Kehlani kept coming back to a sound influenced by pop music and 90s RnB.
“I knew what felt good to sing and I knew who made me really happy when I sang and what kind of lyrics made me really happy when I got to sing it because I kind of based all of my music on what feels good to perform.”
She released two mixtapes in the years before her album SWEETSEXYSAVAGE was released. The title was not a conscious reference to TLC’s iconic Crazy Sexy Cool, but one that fits, she says.
“We considered the fact that it sounds like [TLC's] Crazy Sexy Cool and we were like, you know, you’re paying homage and you can never go wrong showing respect for the people who paved the way for you and TLC definitely paved the way in a major way for me, so it’s just giving thanks in a little way.”
Instead, the album’s title comes from the competing moods of the songs, she says. It was a label rep who pointed out that the album’s songs were a mix of “kind of sweet, kind of sexy, kind of savage”, reflecting the complexities of women, who more often than not are represented in popular culture by two dimensional stereotypes.
“I didn’t want to be the girl who is going to sing heartbroken songs or just sing I’m so much better than you songs, or I’m just this damsel in distress princess, because… granted we can be that sometimes, but we can also be, I’m going to come in and I’m going to destroy.
“I think [women] get thrown into these boxes because society always has made us play this womanly role and we’re just a human, just like a man is a human, just like any person is a human.
“It just felt right to me that this fit all sides of who I am and I’m pretty sure that there’s a lot more that could go onto that list other than sweet, sexy, savage.”
This is her third visit to New Zealand in eight months.
On her first visit tattoo artist @maia_ink offered to meet up with her in Australia to give her a Māori Kirituhi. Over a long chat the pair listened to music, exchanged life stories, and drew up a design for her wrist.
Kehlani's tattoo Photo: RNZ
“He listened to a story that I told him and designed a specific tattoo out of the story that I had told him, and gave it to me as a gift, and he said, nobody can tell you about this because I am giving you this as a gift from my people, from my country to you.
“I just feel honoured that he even wanted to let me receive this,” she grins as she flashes her wrist at the camera. “I’mma have it for life!”
Asked what her end game is, Kehlani has humble ambitions.
“I just want to be able to pay my rent, and eat food every day and I just want to get my mom a crib, so all of the extra stuff that comes with it, like the accolades and the nominations and being acknowledged by different things, it’s super beautiful but it isn’t necessarily what fuels me.
“I just want to keep travelling and keep making songs that hopefully connect people and be able to put my friends and people I love in positions to be able to feel how I feel and that’s really it.”
