New Zealand is obsessed with beaches, and rightfully so. Anywhere in the country is less than an hour’s drive from the coast.
Beaches are as much of our national identity as flightless birds, rugby and isolation.
Since I moved to the tropical climate of Auckland I’ve been a regular visitor to the beach, unlike my previous experiences of holidays in the South Island’s West Coast. There the beaches of my childhood seem to be reserved for surfers, walking and introspection. The North Island beaches of my adulthood are reserved for public drinking and washing off the heavy layer of sweat that comes with ageing.
Growing up in Christchurch, I never grew attached to the few urban beaches that the majority of the city did. I would be car sick on the way, only to be welcomed to overwhelming crowds sitting naked shoulder to shoulder on scorching black sand and harsh Antarctic water.
All of this lived under the burning summer sun, free of an ozone layer to protect my awkward skinny body that felt shameful next to the muscular and well-toned ones that ran after frisbees.
Those same bodies would inadvertently kick burning sand into eyes already stinging from the heavily salted seawater.
I wasn’t built for our national pastime.
LISTEN: You can hear more from Hamish on Sunday when he tells Radio New Zealand’s Standing Room Only about his favourite comedy.
Video produced by Hamish Parkinson and Julian Vares.
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