Keeping up with the Kontentsphere

Has another week passed you by with nary a fleeting glance at the weird and wonderful world of online content? Get the goss with another handy installment of Keeping up with the Kontentsphere.

ANSEL HEARTS NEW ZEALAND

Debatable heartthrob and part time DJ Ansel Elgort joined his Baby Driver director Edgar Wright for a trip to our fair shores and, predictably fellow patriots, he fell in love.

Ansel enjoyed what looks to be a truly romantic, intimate time with his ballerina girlfriend Violetta Komyshan and the professional Instagram photographer who accompanies him everywhere, exploring our fine capital and splashing around in our freezing winter waters.

Yes that’s right, an American actor you’ve only just heard of wants to move to our weird country: I too can barely contain my rapture.

MISSION IMPOOSABLE

Speaking of Hollywood celebrities blessing us with their presence, Mission Impossible just wrapped up film in the South Island. Leaving Tom Cruise free to hang out at Scientology headquarters in Grafton and eat all the bourgeois tacos he wants, the end of the NZ shoot has also given way to rumours: The most titillating, shall we say, being that an unnamed co-star of Cruise REFUSED TO POO IN THE ON-SET PORTALOO, instead being HELICOPTERED back to their personal trailer for each and every bowel movement.

The obvious question here is who (Henry Cavill???) but I am also curious to know how frequently these little ~drop offs~ took place. Once a day should be enough Henry!

WEATHER

The weather has been bad, have you heard? As an Aucklander it seems as though we’ve had it the worst: Rain. Cold. Wind. Brief hale. My cat keeps coming in and leaving adorable little muddy paw prints all over the bed sheets. Terrible.

DONALD TRUMP JR.

The best part of the Donald Trump Jr. scandal, other than the false hope it is giving us that something will finally be done to stop his revolting father, is the weird business with that reporter who tweeted that he was hot on the case only to be scooped by some tweets.

Journalist Jared Sexton Yates tweeted that Donald Trump Jr.’s decision to pip the New York Times at the post by sharing screenshots of incriminating emails on social media had rendered all his hard work pointless. How annoying! Everyone felt bad for him and he even got a s/o on Colbert.

I too felt bad for him until I read this on Deadspin and this dude is just some random freelancer who looked into things a couple of times, was nowhere near to any kind of scoop, and is maybe just trying to promo his book! He has nothing to do with the New York Times reporters who were actually on the verge of breaking the story! We were all had! Who would have thought a viral twitter thread would ever lead us astray.

HOTDOG

The youths love this dancing hotdog from a snapchat filter.